You know I really like rollercoasters. The anticipation of that first big drop as you click your way to the top. And then the drop. Amazing! The way it makes your stomach feel. I love that sensation. Well fuck the rollercoaster of life. It's the fucking opposite. Peaks of false hope leading to that torturous drop back to the abyss. It fucking sucks. I don't like it. It's not fun. Somebody stop this shit. Too bad I can't scream right now. It might releive a little... well something.

I usually view pain as weakness leaving the body. Bring the physical pain. I can take it for centuries. But this pain always seems to leave me weaker. Like a tree being hacked at with a hatchet. Slow but constant. Ever weakening. Ever moving toward that fateful moment of the FALL. The one that has no recovery or reconciliation. It's all fucked.